What an amazing two days I have had and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity.
Tonight on my way home on the tram there was much yelling from one obscenely loud and by presumption only person with mental illness.
I watched everyone shift uncomfortably, look around and pray the person did not sit with them or come near them, lest they take out a screwdriver and fatally stab them in the neck.
The gentleman sat in the seats across from me. I smiled. He called for his mate Liam. An indigenous male late 20's but prematurely aged. The loud gentleman was talking and encouraging his mate and asking after his welfare and then began to talk to me. People look, what will I do??
I talked back as I would politely to any other stranger on the tram. Infact his world and life views were insightful. Liam however could not string too many words together, but he tried, until the lure of his bottle of personally blended vodka and apple beckoned. This upset James the loud person. He asked his mate not to drink
"Mate look around, noone drinks on the tram, you don't need to. Liam mate why would you want to do that, why can't you just participate in society. You don't need to drink, you are an awesome bloke. Just sit here and be me mate and have a yarn."
Unfortunately the alcohol won. I know Liam was really trying to push my buttons, see how uncomfortable it could make me. I don't look like a nurse, I wear no uniform, had he had known his antics had little effect, who knows how much further he would have upped the anti.
James got off at the same stop as me. He did not want to be around Liam drinking, he did not want to attract that trouble to himself. We had a chat after, he kissed my cheek and called me the epitome of humanity and how I had made his day. That people like me come once in a lifetime and we parted ways.
I felt humbled, what a compliment and what an insightful conversation I would have missed with him if I turned my cheek like everyone else.
The next best part of my last two days was taking part in HWA 2 day workshop in Adelaide. Hearing keen and passionate people who are active in workforce reform.
That it is not the skills people have, but the attitudes and values that they bring to the workforce which are pivotal.
We also got to hear from the keynote speaker Mary O'Hagan - International Innovator, Thinker and Writer on Mental Health.
Her lived experience was touching and poignant and really common sense. However, so much common sense is lost in our modern world as we rely less on our thinking and instincts and more on technology and policy to drive our agendas. She brought care back to the consumer as a fundamentally consumer driven perspective- idealism or a much needed realism?
Friday, 24 February 2012
New Journey-Destination unknown
Thursday I was accepted into Uni. Yesterday I received the enrolment.
Not sure how I will cope with working, studying and trying to keep the house clean. Plus the never attempted task of arranging a designer to look at planning a much needed renovation.
AM I CRAZY?
Possibly or if not, I may end up so.
But watch this space as I have no idea where I will end up.
Not sure how I will cope with working, studying and trying to keep the house clean. Plus the never attempted task of arranging a designer to look at planning a much needed renovation.
AM I CRAZY?
Possibly or if not, I may end up so.
But watch this space as I have no idea where I will end up.
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Grateful for a good upbringing?
As a teenager I held a lot of animosity towards my mother for the upbringing i had. She wasn't loving enough, supportive enough, anything enough! She just bought me things and bragged to her friends about my good grades. I felt like nothing more than a possession.
Fast forward and I am 18 and my mother asks me this very question "Was I a good mother?"
It may have been a loaded question that she expected me to answer with my usual well thought out diplomacy. A thinly veiled attempt to have an ego boost. She was at that time the age I am now. I shudder at the thought of having any child in double figures. Anyhow my answer was this:
"Well you were a good mother to my brother and my friends all think you are really cool and can relate well to you...but....you weren't the mother I needed. I needed a mum when I was 12, I don't need one now."
I think back to that conversation and I cringe. I am a mother and I know how that would hurt. On the other side, I also know the constant pain I felt growing up with the mother I had. My father always trying to smooth things over and condone the behaviour of the woman he loved. My brother rarely suffering the viciousness of her words or punishments.
However, I also applaud myself for the honesty I showed in telling her what I felt. At the time I felt it was a gentle let down. It was the best I could do.
As a parent now I try and model the behaviour I wanted to see in my mother. Don't get me wrong, I fall down and stumble back into the autopilot mode of parenting as my mother did. That involves yelling and a lot of it. They are the days that I hate. I punish myself for those days more than anyone else in the world could ever do.
Our children are watching, always watching. Observing like little sponges they take it all in. The days I am at my worst they seem to be watching the most. I then see it reenacted in all its glory with teddies or Barbies. It saddens me, but it also inspires me...to be a better mum.
I am not aiming for super-mum, just to be the best I can be. A parent that my girls will look up to, relate to and talk to. It only requires commitment and attention. Attention to how you feel within so that you can control your inner self before it explodes. Attention to your children when they are talking to you. Attention to the world around you so that you can see the beauty and share that with your children that exists all around us.
The below clip is from you tube and highlights well how our children pick up on things. It is heartbreaking and enlightening at the same time. It should serve as a wake up call for all adults who smoke, drink excess alcohol, binge eat, have substance abuse issues or physically or verbally mistreat their children or partners. Little ones are watching and if you wouldn't want your children doing it, why do it to yourself?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diUB7OGRJ8E
I am not the fun POLICE here either by the way. Just think though if you don't want your kids doing it, then should you. Is it really about age or lifestyle choice?
So as a child and teenager and even in my 20's I did not respect the upbringing I had. Materially I had it all, but for me inside I felt empty, hollow, unloved and unloveable.
I still struggle now, however I have learnt to accept materialism is the only way my mother can give. You take the good with the bad.
So as I continue in my journey through parenthood and life I remember to be grateful for the things I could not as a child/teenager. I remember how it felt for me so that I can empathise with my children and as a form of self regulation for me as a parent.
I am not perfect, but I am grateful. I think that is a worthy lesson in life for my kids.
Fast forward and I am 18 and my mother asks me this very question "Was I a good mother?"
It may have been a loaded question that she expected me to answer with my usual well thought out diplomacy. A thinly veiled attempt to have an ego boost. She was at that time the age I am now. I shudder at the thought of having any child in double figures. Anyhow my answer was this:
"Well you were a good mother to my brother and my friends all think you are really cool and can relate well to you...but....you weren't the mother I needed. I needed a mum when I was 12, I don't need one now."
I think back to that conversation and I cringe. I am a mother and I know how that would hurt. On the other side, I also know the constant pain I felt growing up with the mother I had. My father always trying to smooth things over and condone the behaviour of the woman he loved. My brother rarely suffering the viciousness of her words or punishments.
However, I also applaud myself for the honesty I showed in telling her what I felt. At the time I felt it was a gentle let down. It was the best I could do.
As a parent now I try and model the behaviour I wanted to see in my mother. Don't get me wrong, I fall down and stumble back into the autopilot mode of parenting as my mother did. That involves yelling and a lot of it. They are the days that I hate. I punish myself for those days more than anyone else in the world could ever do.
Our children are watching, always watching. Observing like little sponges they take it all in. The days I am at my worst they seem to be watching the most. I then see it reenacted in all its glory with teddies or Barbies. It saddens me, but it also inspires me...to be a better mum.
I am not aiming for super-mum, just to be the best I can be. A parent that my girls will look up to, relate to and talk to. It only requires commitment and attention. Attention to how you feel within so that you can control your inner self before it explodes. Attention to your children when they are talking to you. Attention to the world around you so that you can see the beauty and share that with your children that exists all around us.
The below clip is from you tube and highlights well how our children pick up on things. It is heartbreaking and enlightening at the same time. It should serve as a wake up call for all adults who smoke, drink excess alcohol, binge eat, have substance abuse issues or physically or verbally mistreat their children or partners. Little ones are watching and if you wouldn't want your children doing it, why do it to yourself?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diUB7OGRJ8E
I am not the fun POLICE here either by the way. Just think though if you don't want your kids doing it, then should you. Is it really about age or lifestyle choice?
So as a child and teenager and even in my 20's I did not respect the upbringing I had. Materially I had it all, but for me inside I felt empty, hollow, unloved and unloveable.
I still struggle now, however I have learnt to accept materialism is the only way my mother can give. You take the good with the bad.
So as I continue in my journey through parenthood and life I remember to be grateful for the things I could not as a child/teenager. I remember how it felt for me so that I can empathise with my children and as a form of self regulation for me as a parent.
I am not perfect, but I am grateful. I think that is a worthy lesson in life for my kids.
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
INTROVERT EXTROVERT - DOES IT MATTER?
I recently read an article about the New Groupthink.
Have a read and see what you think.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/15/opinion/sunday/the-rise-of-the-new-groupthink.html?pagewanted=all
I am in two minds about this. You see I am an introvert by nature, always have been.
Why am I then blogging to the universe and facebooking? Well I counterbalance it by not twittering or any other new world connections!
I do the things I do to connect, promote or inspire. I don't seek money to benefit, do google ads or adsense. I have no need to gain money, just bring balance to my own world and others.
Back to being an introvert.
In reading the article we can determine that introverts are most creative in a private space. I agree. I hate being watched or on show, I hate being the center of attention. Yet I lecture, chair a network of advanced nurses on the fore of system reform and I post publicly on internet sites. I put myself in front of an audience. Part of that is for self challenge. To see if I can do it and part of it is to share with others.
I cringe before, during and after every "performance". Judging myself before others or how I think others may do.
I would rather be behind the scenes doing great things and occasionally getting some acknowledgement or thanks for it. I would rather be in a cubicle, hidden from the world. However, that cubicle would need a window with sunlight!
So I function as an extrovert on the outside, whilst really I just want to run and hide. But is it that I am by nature an introvert and to share the benefit of my learnings I become the extrovert.
I work in a shared space office, I always have within my less clinical nursing roles. In my mind it makes it awkward, I feel exposed. So I can only imagine how my students or the patient's feel in an open space.
The nature of my latest work is very much collaborative and it is interdisciplinary. It requires multiple conversations a day to cross reference our clinical skill sets in solving client problems. It also creates problems.
In an open space it is very hard to get an intimate or private conversation going. Some conversations are not meant to include everybody. It then becomes difficult in a share space to perform certain functions of leadership roles. There is no private office space and this often means we are relegated to the halls. That looks clandestine and unprofessional.
We run interdisciplinary network groups. These are great for shared problem solving, networking and discussion. The problem with that is, some like sharing more than others and some don't want to participate. Introverts may not feel comfortable speaking up or out and by nature the group becomes unidirectional, shifting in the direction of the most outgoing performers and that is not necessarily the best way.
I prefer to appear like I am constantly struck dumb, than to speak up and look stupid. I am not stupid and when I have my evidence gathered I am happy to share, more than happy.
So I will stick to my true internal needs and perform how I see best.
I think Anais Nin sums it up for me in her quote:
That is how I see life and writing, lecturing, sharing and collaboration. To live life in the moment and then have the ability to reflect in retrospect, once you have put it out there in a group model everyone knows your thoughts!
What are you? An introvert, an extrovert? Does it matter?
And yes there is the intentional jibe in this post to the wondrously talented x- factor wannabe who penned a song by this name: Introvert, extrovert, Does it matter? They were the only words to the song, maybe he should have had a brainstorming session!
Have a read and see what you think.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/15/opinion/sunday/the-rise-of-the-new-groupthink.html?pagewanted=all
I am in two minds about this. You see I am an introvert by nature, always have been.
Why am I then blogging to the universe and facebooking? Well I counterbalance it by not twittering or any other new world connections!
I do the things I do to connect, promote or inspire. I don't seek money to benefit, do google ads or adsense. I have no need to gain money, just bring balance to my own world and others.
Back to being an introvert.
In reading the article we can determine that introverts are most creative in a private space. I agree. I hate being watched or on show, I hate being the center of attention. Yet I lecture, chair a network of advanced nurses on the fore of system reform and I post publicly on internet sites. I put myself in front of an audience. Part of that is for self challenge. To see if I can do it and part of it is to share with others.
I cringe before, during and after every "performance". Judging myself before others or how I think others may do.
I would rather be behind the scenes doing great things and occasionally getting some acknowledgement or thanks for it. I would rather be in a cubicle, hidden from the world. However, that cubicle would need a window with sunlight!
So I function as an extrovert on the outside, whilst really I just want to run and hide. But is it that I am by nature an introvert and to share the benefit of my learnings I become the extrovert.
I work in a shared space office, I always have within my less clinical nursing roles. In my mind it makes it awkward, I feel exposed. So I can only imagine how my students or the patient's feel in an open space.
The nature of my latest work is very much collaborative and it is interdisciplinary. It requires multiple conversations a day to cross reference our clinical skill sets in solving client problems. It also creates problems.
In an open space it is very hard to get an intimate or private conversation going. Some conversations are not meant to include everybody. It then becomes difficult in a share space to perform certain functions of leadership roles. There is no private office space and this often means we are relegated to the halls. That looks clandestine and unprofessional.
We run interdisciplinary network groups. These are great for shared problem solving, networking and discussion. The problem with that is, some like sharing more than others and some don't want to participate. Introverts may not feel comfortable speaking up or out and by nature the group becomes unidirectional, shifting in the direction of the most outgoing performers and that is not necessarily the best way.
I prefer to appear like I am constantly struck dumb, than to speak up and look stupid. I am not stupid and when I have my evidence gathered I am happy to share, more than happy.
So I will stick to my true internal needs and perform how I see best.
I think Anais Nin sums it up for me in her quote:
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”
― Anaïs Nin
― Anaïs Nin
That is how I see life and writing, lecturing, sharing and collaboration. To live life in the moment and then have the ability to reflect in retrospect, once you have put it out there in a group model everyone knows your thoughts!
What are you? An introvert, an extrovert? Does it matter?
And yes there is the intentional jibe in this post to the wondrously talented x- factor wannabe who penned a song by this name: Introvert, extrovert, Does it matter? They were the only words to the song, maybe he should have had a brainstorming session!
Saturday, 7 January 2012
OLFACTION SATISFACTION
Take time to stop and smell the roses.
Why?
Our sense of smell has the ability to stir in us great emotion. Happy childhood memories, repulsion, fear or a sense of De' ja vu'.
SO WE KNOW HOW SMELL WORKS, BUT HOW DOES IT TRIGGER SUCH STRONG MEMORIES?
Smell is believed to be such an emotive trigger as the olfactory cortex (part of brain determining smell) has a direct neural link to the hippocampus. Yes this is spelt correctly. The hippocampus is part of the limbic system which help us to form our short and long term memories.
It is this direct link and processing which makes it so sentimentally arousing. Other senses are processed in the thalamus and then make their way to the limbic system. You see!
Now we all love Dr Karl Kruszelnicki, he makes being a geek über cool. He explains on ABC's scenic news that this type of memory is called a "Proustian Memory". It's named after Marcel Proust, one of the greatest novelists of the 20th century. He describes this phenomenon in the opening chapter of his novel Swan's Way, the first novel in his mammoth seven-part work, Remembrance Of Things Past.
Primitively speaking this may have happened for several reasons. So pre-refrigeration we could smell if our woolly mammoth meat was rotten; to detect food; to attract a mate and for our babies to make their way to the mothers breast whilst they were out beating the path to civilisation.
WHAT CAN YOU SMELL THAT TRIGGERS A MEMORY?
I have had many an occasion where de' ja vu' has kicked in just through a sense of smell. I can't explain it more than that.
Last night though I had the pleasure (for once) of taking the dog for a walk, whilst my husband did the dishes (also for once).
As I walked the familiar, yet unfamiliar streets as it had been such a while since I had the privilege (wow so many people are renovating, I am green with envy!), I strolled past houses and BANG there it was....a smell.
Not good, not bad, just a memory.
One of them was the smell of an older couples home and it brought me back to Nan and Pa Crafters home on Tollner Road. Not my real grandparents, but a lovely old couple we lived next door to when I was very young, 4 and under.
It is the smell of tea leaves, tobacco and old fashioned soaps, mixed with lemon scented washing up liquid. It may not sound ideal, but it was a lovely smell and made me remember some lovely people.
Another smell from my childhood is one I am experiencing now, summer rain and the smell of a thunderstorm. Today is a sultry 32c and it rained late this afternoon. My husband mowed the lawns this morning and the orange and lemon trees are in summer bloom. The mixture of scents is one so rich and warming and reminds me of how summer was always a happy time as we were all outdoors, playing, exploring, mixing with the neighbourhood.
It brings me to another memory triggered by smell. At work the other day we were talking about Christmas trees and one colleague had been to the Christmas tree farm to get a real tree. Everyone oohed and aahhed. I stayed silent. Repulsed by the thought of a pinus radiata in my home. Why? We grew up in the South East of South Australia, surrounded by them. The bane of my allergies and asthma as a child, but excitement in winter with all the mud puddles bathed in yellow rings of pine tree pollen.
Isn't it amazing what a smell and memory can do?
I am grateful that I can smell, for a while after a home cleaning - over bleaching in an unventilated room incident, I lost my sense of smell. There are also many medical reasons why people can't smell. We all know the feeling of a blocked nose in winter with a cold and how we can't smell anything and taste does not seem the same either.
Be grateful for your sense of smell and take time to stop and smell the roses!
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles
http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2009/11/smell_and_memory.php
Why?
Our sense of smell has the ability to stir in us great emotion. Happy childhood memories, repulsion, fear or a sense of De' ja vu'.
HOW DOES OUR SENSE OF SMELL WORK?
At the top of your nose inside there is a section of epithelium containing special neurons. These neuron contain cilia which are little hair like projections (the same type we damage in our lungs through smoking) to help make the area of air that they come into contact with greater.
These neurons come into contact with molecules in the air from a particular object and this is what we smell. In order for us to smell something it needs to be able to give up these molecules. The molecule binds to the cilia and triggers a reaction which is processed by the brain and enables us to perceive and interpret the smell.
In the book Molecular Biology of the Cell:
Humans can distinguish more than 10,000 different smells (odorants), which are detected by specialized olfactory receptor neurons lining the nose.... It is thought that there are hundreds of different olfactory receptors, each encoded by a different gene and each recognizing different odorants.
SO WE KNOW HOW SMELL WORKS, BUT HOW DOES IT TRIGGER SUCH STRONG MEMORIES?
Smell is believed to be such an emotive trigger as the olfactory cortex (part of brain determining smell) has a direct neural link to the hippocampus. Yes this is spelt correctly. The hippocampus is part of the limbic system which help us to form our short and long term memories.
It is this direct link and processing which makes it so sentimentally arousing. Other senses are processed in the thalamus and then make their way to the limbic system. You see!
Now we all love Dr Karl Kruszelnicki, he makes being a geek über cool. He explains on ABC's scenic news that this type of memory is called a "Proustian Memory". It's named after Marcel Proust, one of the greatest novelists of the 20th century. He describes this phenomenon in the opening chapter of his novel Swan's Way, the first novel in his mammoth seven-part work, Remembrance Of Things Past.
Primitively speaking this may have happened for several reasons. So pre-refrigeration we could smell if our woolly mammoth meat was rotten; to detect food; to attract a mate and for our babies to make their way to the mothers breast whilst they were out beating the path to civilisation.
WHAT CAN YOU SMELL THAT TRIGGERS A MEMORY?
I have had many an occasion where de' ja vu' has kicked in just through a sense of smell. I can't explain it more than that.
Last night though I had the pleasure (for once) of taking the dog for a walk, whilst my husband did the dishes (also for once).
As I walked the familiar, yet unfamiliar streets as it had been such a while since I had the privilege (wow so many people are renovating, I am green with envy!), I strolled past houses and BANG there it was....a smell.
Not good, not bad, just a memory.
One of them was the smell of an older couples home and it brought me back to Nan and Pa Crafters home on Tollner Road. Not my real grandparents, but a lovely old couple we lived next door to when I was very young, 4 and under.
It is the smell of tea leaves, tobacco and old fashioned soaps, mixed with lemon scented washing up liquid. It may not sound ideal, but it was a lovely smell and made me remember some lovely people.
Another smell from my childhood is one I am experiencing now, summer rain and the smell of a thunderstorm. Today is a sultry 32c and it rained late this afternoon. My husband mowed the lawns this morning and the orange and lemon trees are in summer bloom. The mixture of scents is one so rich and warming and reminds me of how summer was always a happy time as we were all outdoors, playing, exploring, mixing with the neighbourhood.
 |
| This was a 39c day in Clare and a summer storm rolled in over the vineyard, normally you would see the Skilly Hills Ridgeline behind the trees |
 |
| All roads lead to....PINE TREES surrounding Mount Gambier. |
It brings me to another memory triggered by smell. At work the other day we were talking about Christmas trees and one colleague had been to the Christmas tree farm to get a real tree. Everyone oohed and aahhed. I stayed silent. Repulsed by the thought of a pinus radiata in my home. Why? We grew up in the South East of South Australia, surrounded by them. The bane of my allergies and asthma as a child, but excitement in winter with all the mud puddles bathed in yellow rings of pine tree pollen.
Isn't it amazing what a smell and memory can do?
I am grateful that I can smell, for a while after a home cleaning - over bleaching in an unventilated room incident, I lost my sense of smell. There are also many medical reasons why people can't smell. We all know the feeling of a blocked nose in winter with a cold and how we can't smell anything and taste does not seem the same either.
Be grateful for your sense of smell and take time to stop and smell the roses!
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles
http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2009/11/smell_and_memory.php
Friday, 30 December 2011
The Ungrateful Within
I am not a big fan of Christmas. But this year I loved it!
Selfishly, I did not have to share my family with anyone. We did not have to drive for four to five hours and sleep in one or the other parents house and hope that we were not upsetting someone. We did not have to do lunch here, breakfast there and dinner somewhere else. We did not feel like we were possessions being tossed, pulled or shoved.
We had the privilege of being a family at home in our own home; just the four of us and Charlie the dog.
We were supposed to be joined by some friends (who we knew wouldn't) because they are far too selfish and wanted us to come to their house. We have young children who want to enjoy their toys, their children are grown up and we spent 13 years at their house for Christmas. Besides since they both have lost a licence for DUI it really doesn't even require a discussion for them of who is designated driver!
Alas we were the bigger people and went to their boxing day party and unlike them I brought my children and taught them how to behave. My girls have manners and know how to act. Their teenagers have no manners, no graciousness and certainly are not grateful or respectful. Not even a thank you for the little gift the girls bought them. These are teens who can't make their own lunch, tea or breakfast and can't even cook toast! What hope is there for them in the real world? The evening was pierced with ungrateful comments about the very flashy coffee maker in their kitchen.
"I wanted a juicer! Does this look like a juicer?"
"I only drink flat white, not fancy coffee, why would I want this?"
The fact that these two have the most toxic of relationships makes the above discourse seem friendly, but the sheer lack of gratitude astounds me.
Moving on to the next bunch of ungrateful people - in laws! We bought them a calendar of the girls, some doublemint gum which you have not been able to get for years and they used to use at tennis all the time and they had extra large gifts for their birthdays this year, which was also to form part of their Christmas gifts. Several hundred dollars worth! Apparently though, that was not good enough.
Really! These are people who have everything and need nothing. Again where is the gratitude for the thought? I thought of many of my clients who would be alone, sick, lonely, hungry or harming themselves, wouldn't they love to have any of this? I sometimes wonder if they are not in some ways better off for never having had any of the wealth which brings this ungrateful behaviour to the fore!
Me, well I was spoilt. I have my family back and that in itself is enough. I finally got a Wii and well it is harder than I thought! I also now have a new sound dock as my children have commandeered my Bose sound dock in their bedroom.
I heard from my sister in law, just a text. But I was glad to know she is okay and my mother in law and her husband cooked her lunch on her birthday.
We have money saved and gifted to do some concreting of one shed floor. We caught up with friends and it was a great relaxed time.
I appreciate the time I had with my family and our friends who came to join us later. The joy in seeing our girls and their little mate Jackson rip through the house and backyard and have a ball jumping on the new trampoline (which by the way was easy to put up!). The house was easy to tidy and the kids hardly made a mess, which is in itself another gift!
So as the year comes to a close an my journey is travelling in a positive direction, I would like to take the time to wish you a Happy New Year. May it be safe and filled with hope.
If the past year has not been what you want, create yourself a better year. Take charge of your destiny, steer the carriages the way you want them to go.
Will I travel this way next year? Well who knows.....with a masters degree in process and a Managerial position requiring systemic change and data analysis and political pushing, I may not have time. However, the Gratitude Train has helped me get back on track and I hope that if you are off course that you too will find your way.
xxxx
Selfishly, I did not have to share my family with anyone. We did not have to drive for four to five hours and sleep in one or the other parents house and hope that we were not upsetting someone. We did not have to do lunch here, breakfast there and dinner somewhere else. We did not feel like we were possessions being tossed, pulled or shoved.
We had the privilege of being a family at home in our own home; just the four of us and Charlie the dog.
We were supposed to be joined by some friends (who we knew wouldn't) because they are far too selfish and wanted us to come to their house. We have young children who want to enjoy their toys, their children are grown up and we spent 13 years at their house for Christmas. Besides since they both have lost a licence for DUI it really doesn't even require a discussion for them of who is designated driver!
Alas we were the bigger people and went to their boxing day party and unlike them I brought my children and taught them how to behave. My girls have manners and know how to act. Their teenagers have no manners, no graciousness and certainly are not grateful or respectful. Not even a thank you for the little gift the girls bought them. These are teens who can't make their own lunch, tea or breakfast and can't even cook toast! What hope is there for them in the real world? The evening was pierced with ungrateful comments about the very flashy coffee maker in their kitchen.
"I wanted a juicer! Does this look like a juicer?"
"I only drink flat white, not fancy coffee, why would I want this?"
The fact that these two have the most toxic of relationships makes the above discourse seem friendly, but the sheer lack of gratitude astounds me.
Moving on to the next bunch of ungrateful people - in laws! We bought them a calendar of the girls, some doublemint gum which you have not been able to get for years and they used to use at tennis all the time and they had extra large gifts for their birthdays this year, which was also to form part of their Christmas gifts. Several hundred dollars worth! Apparently though, that was not good enough.
Really! These are people who have everything and need nothing. Again where is the gratitude for the thought? I thought of many of my clients who would be alone, sick, lonely, hungry or harming themselves, wouldn't they love to have any of this? I sometimes wonder if they are not in some ways better off for never having had any of the wealth which brings this ungrateful behaviour to the fore!
Me, well I was spoilt. I have my family back and that in itself is enough. I finally got a Wii and well it is harder than I thought! I also now have a new sound dock as my children have commandeered my Bose sound dock in their bedroom.
I heard from my sister in law, just a text. But I was glad to know she is okay and my mother in law and her husband cooked her lunch on her birthday.
We have money saved and gifted to do some concreting of one shed floor. We caught up with friends and it was a great relaxed time.
I appreciate the time I had with my family and our friends who came to join us later. The joy in seeing our girls and their little mate Jackson rip through the house and backyard and have a ball jumping on the new trampoline (which by the way was easy to put up!). The house was easy to tidy and the kids hardly made a mess, which is in itself another gift!
So as the year comes to a close an my journey is travelling in a positive direction, I would like to take the time to wish you a Happy New Year. May it be safe and filled with hope.
If the past year has not been what you want, create yourself a better year. Take charge of your destiny, steer the carriages the way you want them to go.
Will I travel this way next year? Well who knows.....with a masters degree in process and a Managerial position requiring systemic change and data analysis and political pushing, I may not have time. However, the Gratitude Train has helped me get back on track and I hope that if you are off course that you too will find your way.
xxxx
Sunday, 18 December 2011
HARD TIMES
Well it is Christmas the most wonderful time of the year! Who sang that ridiculous song? I bet it was Frank Sinatra!
I find Christmas hard. I am not sure why, so I began to reflect. Last year I was still separated from my husband, but we spent it together as a family at my mums. That in itself is a colossal effort. She spoke to my daughter like a piece of dirt and very much reminded me of why I had a hard time growing up. No one speaks to my child like that.
I am still reeling from the affair, even though it is long since over, I wonder, I doubt, I wish hindsight would just get out of my sight!
My sister in law, or should I say ex, it would be her birthday this Saturday and I would reach out, but can't as I don't know where she is at with the family, me or anything in life. I told her some honest thoughts earlier in the year about how she MAY be perceived through the things she was writing to the family and wanted to protect her from the crap that they all put me through. To protect her was not my role, I see that now and hope I didn't make it worse! Last I knew she told someone that we weren't talking. I took her off my FB page to protect myself from knowing anything and having to lie to anyone. I am hopeless at lying as you would know from my post on Being Authentic. http://gratitude-train.blogspot.com/2011/10/being-authentic.html
I took her off as I myself was also not in a good place and just needed my energy for myself and my struggle with PND.
So I wonder about her and how she is finding the "single life". Is it easier for her as she has family who will help, or is it harder or the same?
In the type of work I do I see so much misery at this time. It is hard to switch off from that when you have an overdeveloped sense of empathy. I wish that I could erase the misery from so many even for just a day, but then that is really about how I feel and would probably be worse for them long term.
I am grateful for so much too and that is where I realised I should focus my reflection. I am grateful to have my family back together and the opportunity to work on that.
I am grateful for two beautiful and individual children.
I am grateful for some truly awesome friends that I have had since high school.
I am grateful to be part of an awesome work team and have brilliant mentors around me.
I am grateful to be healthy.
I am grateful to be me and living the life I do.
My journey is taking me where I need to go.
xxxxx
I find Christmas hard. I am not sure why, so I began to reflect. Last year I was still separated from my husband, but we spent it together as a family at my mums. That in itself is a colossal effort. She spoke to my daughter like a piece of dirt and very much reminded me of why I had a hard time growing up. No one speaks to my child like that.
I am still reeling from the affair, even though it is long since over, I wonder, I doubt, I wish hindsight would just get out of my sight!
My sister in law, or should I say ex, it would be her birthday this Saturday and I would reach out, but can't as I don't know where she is at with the family, me or anything in life. I told her some honest thoughts earlier in the year about how she MAY be perceived through the things she was writing to the family and wanted to protect her from the crap that they all put me through. To protect her was not my role, I see that now and hope I didn't make it worse! Last I knew she told someone that we weren't talking. I took her off my FB page to protect myself from knowing anything and having to lie to anyone. I am hopeless at lying as you would know from my post on Being Authentic. http://gratitude-train.blogspot.com/2011/10/being-authentic.html
I took her off as I myself was also not in a good place and just needed my energy for myself and my struggle with PND.
So I wonder about her and how she is finding the "single life". Is it easier for her as she has family who will help, or is it harder or the same?
In the type of work I do I see so much misery at this time. It is hard to switch off from that when you have an overdeveloped sense of empathy. I wish that I could erase the misery from so many even for just a day, but then that is really about how I feel and would probably be worse for them long term.
I am grateful for so much too and that is where I realised I should focus my reflection. I am grateful to have my family back together and the opportunity to work on that.
I am grateful for two beautiful and individual children.
I am grateful for some truly awesome friends that I have had since high school.
I am grateful to be part of an awesome work team and have brilliant mentors around me.
I am grateful to be healthy.
I am grateful to be me and living the life I do.
My journey is taking me where I need to go.
xxxxx
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
WINNERS ARE GRINNERS!
Winners are grinners!
This past week that has been the absolute truth.
Despite a rough (will be for a while) ride in my reluctant journey into management, there was a silver lining; many prompt responses for attendance to my next meeting - small things make me happy in this job!
After a day that seemed less than happiness on Thursday, with hubby having to take the day off due to a sick little Miss 4 for the second day in a row, I just felt flat. Mother guilt had set in, end of the working week, knowing that I had a deadline to make some curtains for the Miss Ella Skye Backyard Dreams Project and that I should not have changed the colour scheme so late; the house was scruffy and the washing was thankfully not too far behind.
Then I did my e-mail check once the girls were in bed and the house had a run through tidy up. I had won the DirtGirlWorld Grubby giveaway from Childhood 101 with the amazing Christie Burnett. So now my two little "Dirt Girls" will have some new CD's and DVD's for when it is too hot this summer or too wet in the winter! I was thrilled, I WON - woo hoo.
Then I did the inevitable and went online to Facebook and to Childhood 101, got sidetracked and went back to my e-mails. Then surprise number 2 for the night......Pinky McKay, yes the famous author and mother of five and a nurse to boot, liked my comment on her Facebook page. Well actually she didn't like it, she commented below and said she loved my comment. It was a huge thrill and an honour. Further on she also agreed with another reader and I about our views on the bias towards mothers in their role, rather than it being a familial focus.
I then had the honour of being the cubby house queen and waving my magic over a plain little cubby house in a plain little backyard. Now my part was easy sort of ( I had never seen the cubby before mind you). The hard yakka the other team members had to put in though was well rewarded by a fabulous looking garden that was friendly to the needs of a disabled child and her family. It was a job well done by all and then others pitched in more and more towards the end of the day. The excitement and apprehension grew and then came the reveal at about 8:45 that evening. Ella was "wow", jumped on her trampoline, loved her fairy garden and new tea set and table and chairs and walked into the cubby and said "Oh WOW". She was in awe and I was rewarded with something money just can't buy- pure gratitude from the purest of children.
Her mum and dad loved it too, lost for words and a little wine weary they could not believe what we had done for them. I was invited back the next night to share this with my girls who helped me shop and sew. For the first time my 4 year old did not take 2 hours to warm up - she was straight in there and playing- double happiness for me! See my previous post AMAZING to understand what this is all about
So I am still on my grinning high, how can I not be. I see on Facebook the fabulous work we all did for one family who just needed a break and asked nothing of it. We sent them off on a trip for the day with day spas, cars for the dad, picnic lunch and wineries and a splendid meal at A Hereford Beefstouw. We helped some people, raised some serious cash and did some good old fashioned "lending a hand".
For more information and pictures see:http://www.liahealyblog.com
For the fabulous Childhood 101 site here is the link, boredom will be a word of the past and no electricity is required for many of these great learning activities.
http://childhood101.com.
So I will grin away and know I am the luckiest person in the world this week. It is not the first time either, did I tell you about the time I won a new Dyson vacuum? No, well maybe another time.
Until my next who knows when post, stay happy, on track and grateful for all the little things we have, because from little things - big things grow!
This past week that has been the absolute truth.
Despite a rough (will be for a while) ride in my reluctant journey into management, there was a silver lining; many prompt responses for attendance to my next meeting - small things make me happy in this job!
After a day that seemed less than happiness on Thursday, with hubby having to take the day off due to a sick little Miss 4 for the second day in a row, I just felt flat. Mother guilt had set in, end of the working week, knowing that I had a deadline to make some curtains for the Miss Ella Skye Backyard Dreams Project and that I should not have changed the colour scheme so late; the house was scruffy and the washing was thankfully not too far behind.
Then I did my e-mail check once the girls were in bed and the house had a run through tidy up. I had won the DirtGirlWorld Grubby giveaway from Childhood 101 with the amazing Christie Burnett. So now my two little "Dirt Girls" will have some new CD's and DVD's for when it is too hot this summer or too wet in the winter! I was thrilled, I WON - woo hoo.
Then I did the inevitable and went online to Facebook and to Childhood 101, got sidetracked and went back to my e-mails. Then surprise number 2 for the night......Pinky McKay, yes the famous author and mother of five and a nurse to boot, liked my comment on her Facebook page. Well actually she didn't like it, she commented below and said she loved my comment. It was a huge thrill and an honour. Further on she also agreed with another reader and I about our views on the bias towards mothers in their role, rather than it being a familial focus.
I then had the honour of being the cubby house queen and waving my magic over a plain little cubby house in a plain little backyard. Now my part was easy sort of ( I had never seen the cubby before mind you). The hard yakka the other team members had to put in though was well rewarded by a fabulous looking garden that was friendly to the needs of a disabled child and her family. It was a job well done by all and then others pitched in more and more towards the end of the day. The excitement and apprehension grew and then came the reveal at about 8:45 that evening. Ella was "wow", jumped on her trampoline, loved her fairy garden and new tea set and table and chairs and walked into the cubby and said "Oh WOW". She was in awe and I was rewarded with something money just can't buy- pure gratitude from the purest of children.
Her mum and dad loved it too, lost for words and a little wine weary they could not believe what we had done for them. I was invited back the next night to share this with my girls who helped me shop and sew. For the first time my 4 year old did not take 2 hours to warm up - she was straight in there and playing- double happiness for me! See my previous post AMAZING to understand what this is all about
So I am still on my grinning high, how can I not be. I see on Facebook the fabulous work we all did for one family who just needed a break and asked nothing of it. We sent them off on a trip for the day with day spas, cars for the dad, picnic lunch and wineries and a splendid meal at A Hereford Beefstouw. We helped some people, raised some serious cash and did some good old fashioned "lending a hand".
For more information and pictures see:http://www.liahealyblog.com
For the fabulous Childhood 101 site here is the link, boredom will be a word of the past and no electricity is required for many of these great learning activities.
http://childhood101.com.
So I will grin away and know I am the luckiest person in the world this week. It is not the first time either, did I tell you about the time I won a new Dyson vacuum? No, well maybe another time.
Until my next who knows when post, stay happy, on track and grateful for all the little things we have, because from little things - big things grow!
Monday, 21 November 2011
Speaking Out!
White Ribbon Day
It is November 25th this year, Friday that is!
If you haven't heard of it, well now you have! There is no longer an excuse to bury your head in the sand.
In support of Wanderlust and all the other victims of this abuse lets all speak out and stop burying our collective heads in the sand.
Domestic violence against women and children is happening every day around you.
Not in my neighbourhood....think again. It is much nicer to think that it is not happening though, isn't it? The reason many people feel this way is because they don't know what to do.
Speak Out
Domestic Violence is everywhere. Many people think that it is something that is of a bygone era or that it is for those in the less fortunate areas, maybe they think it is only for those affected by substance abuse.
Maybe they don't realise it can happen to anybody.
At the start of this year in response to a friend I started facebooking information out on this subject. They needed help and due to their situation, some randomly read posts was the safest option for them in a shared forum.
http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf
The address above is one of the images that I connected people to, to highlight what DV is and is not. It is an insightful resource.
Inadvertently I offended a family member who thought I was talking about her situation. I wasn't, whilst hers was a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, the friend I was helping was in danger. They were isolated in a rural area, did not know how to access help, substance abuse was also involved and there were children too. This friend I grew up with at a distance and we became friends later, what saddens me is that from what I know of her childhood, the same is now happening to her as an adult. Her husband is a wealthy, respected farmer, involved in many charities and committees in their town.
Early intervention is the key in all areas of life.
Back to the family member who has now left her husband. I am in two minds about this as she never gave him the chance to seek help and see if it could all work and he was willing. We have since also learnt that she only married him to have children and knew they were not ideal together. It doesn't condone her partners behaviour, but sometimes the violence can be lessened, this is a case where I feel it could have and therefore the 2 little boys in the midst of this would not have had to endure what they have. She and her husband were both well educated people in management streams, middle class comfort.
I have another friend who today told me that she was thrilled to only be losing her licence for three months and 3 days. She blew in the mid to high range. Her partner and her were at a celebration and he was being an idiot (as he is when alcohol is involved) and so she decided to leave. He came after her and started yelling and having a go at her because if she went how was the car going to get home and there was no way it was going to be left in the car-park! He has already lost his licence for a couple of years for driving under the influence! So after a heated argument and pushing and shoving she gets in and drives.
All the while he is putting her down, calling her a fat arsed skank, stupid, bimbo, slut and believe it or not a whole lot worse (I have heard it all from him). He is poking her and pinching her whilst she is trying to drive. They are driving over a bridge and there is a breath testing station at the base and he is smashing her head into the steering wheel and pulling her hair at this stage, she is just trying to drive and stay on the road. She nearly ran over the police officer.
When she gets out and she is already crying and in a state; they breath test her and she openly admits to drinking and driving. The officer asks her about what was going on in the car as he could see that she looked like she was being shoved, she tells him. Charges are laid on her partner.
Guess what? She is still with him. It annoys the life out of me as her two kids now entering their teens are witness to this. The daughter now comes with her own set of issues and their 12 year old son, thinks his parents are losers and becomes very upset when they fight. I have given them both all of the resources I can to get help for themselves, each other, their children. You can lead a horse to water......
For teens and adults affected by this and for the accompanying troubles within that lifestyle go to http://au.reachout.com/. They have great easy to read resources and contacts nationwide.
I grew up knowing my parents were not suited to each other, different. I can honestly say though that I never saw them argue, never heard it either. I know they disagreed, had different opinions, but violence was just not part of our lives. I am truly grateful for that, so thank you mum and dad.
Due to my mother and I clashing though I did live informally with a foster family. Have I told you about how wonderful they are? Will do so one day.
From time to time came emergency foster kids. I remember Hayley. Her stepdad used to bash her, but not her younger sister. Hayley was 13 or 14, I was 11 or 12 the same as her younger sister. So Hayley came to my foster family. She did not know about hygiene ( you have to wet all of your hair to wash it!), she did not know about feminine products or cycles, she did not have a clue about life in general. I remember thinking she had the prettiest face, much prettier than her "nasty" younger sister. One day she was struggling with her very basic maths homework. I was year 7, she was year 9 and I helped (think I did it) her with her homework, she had no idea how to do multiplication. That was the day that it became clear to all of us that she had suffered some kind of brain damage at the hands of her mother and stepfather. How cruel, how utterly disgusting to do that to another human being. What gave them the right.
So to all the Hayley's, Will's, Carly's and kids you are always in my thoughts. I work with adults who began as your story everyday and I pray that you don't end up as they have.
To the rest of us I say educate yourself, speak up and out, reach out to another, but know when to back away and that some people just make bad choices.
If you are looking for other ways to support people affected by domestic violence I could write you a whole blog on that topic alone. However buy the Big Issue it supports the vendor, many of whom are victims at some stage in their life. Or checkout the lovely Lina at http://mothersloveletters.com as she has found a beneficial and aesthetically pleasing, not to mention useful way to help.
If you are in South Australia this may help.
http://www.keepsafestaycool.com.au/Downloads/DV%20The%20Facts%20A5%20V4.pdf
Nationally
http://www.salvationarmy.org.au/services/domestic-violence-services.html
http://au.reachout.com
If you do find yourself in this situation or know of somebody who is, it is never too late to speak out.
Take care and I hope your journey is not a painful one.
XXXXX
It is November 25th this year, Friday that is!
If you haven't heard of it, well now you have! There is no longer an excuse to bury your head in the sand.
In support of Wanderlust and all the other victims of this abuse lets all speak out and stop burying our collective heads in the sand.
Domestic violence against women and children is happening every day around you.
Not in my neighbourhood....think again. It is much nicer to think that it is not happening though, isn't it? The reason many people feel this way is because they don't know what to do.
Speak Out
Domestic Violence is everywhere. Many people think that it is something that is of a bygone era or that it is for those in the less fortunate areas, maybe they think it is only for those affected by substance abuse.
Maybe they don't realise it can happen to anybody.
At the start of this year in response to a friend I started facebooking information out on this subject. They needed help and due to their situation, some randomly read posts was the safest option for them in a shared forum.
http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf
The address above is one of the images that I connected people to, to highlight what DV is and is not. It is an insightful resource.
Inadvertently I offended a family member who thought I was talking about her situation. I wasn't, whilst hers was a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, the friend I was helping was in danger. They were isolated in a rural area, did not know how to access help, substance abuse was also involved and there were children too. This friend I grew up with at a distance and we became friends later, what saddens me is that from what I know of her childhood, the same is now happening to her as an adult. Her husband is a wealthy, respected farmer, involved in many charities and committees in their town.
Early intervention is the key in all areas of life.
Back to the family member who has now left her husband. I am in two minds about this as she never gave him the chance to seek help and see if it could all work and he was willing. We have since also learnt that she only married him to have children and knew they were not ideal together. It doesn't condone her partners behaviour, but sometimes the violence can be lessened, this is a case where I feel it could have and therefore the 2 little boys in the midst of this would not have had to endure what they have. She and her husband were both well educated people in management streams, middle class comfort.
I have another friend who today told me that she was thrilled to only be losing her licence for three months and 3 days. She blew in the mid to high range. Her partner and her were at a celebration and he was being an idiot (as he is when alcohol is involved) and so she decided to leave. He came after her and started yelling and having a go at her because if she went how was the car going to get home and there was no way it was going to be left in the car-park! He has already lost his licence for a couple of years for driving under the influence! So after a heated argument and pushing and shoving she gets in and drives.
All the while he is putting her down, calling her a fat arsed skank, stupid, bimbo, slut and believe it or not a whole lot worse (I have heard it all from him). He is poking her and pinching her whilst she is trying to drive. They are driving over a bridge and there is a breath testing station at the base and he is smashing her head into the steering wheel and pulling her hair at this stage, she is just trying to drive and stay on the road. She nearly ran over the police officer.
When she gets out and she is already crying and in a state; they breath test her and she openly admits to drinking and driving. The officer asks her about what was going on in the car as he could see that she looked like she was being shoved, she tells him. Charges are laid on her partner.
Guess what? She is still with him. It annoys the life out of me as her two kids now entering their teens are witness to this. The daughter now comes with her own set of issues and their 12 year old son, thinks his parents are losers and becomes very upset when they fight. I have given them both all of the resources I can to get help for themselves, each other, their children. You can lead a horse to water......
For teens and adults affected by this and for the accompanying troubles within that lifestyle go to http://au.reachout.com/. They have great easy to read resources and contacts nationwide.
I grew up knowing my parents were not suited to each other, different. I can honestly say though that I never saw them argue, never heard it either. I know they disagreed, had different opinions, but violence was just not part of our lives. I am truly grateful for that, so thank you mum and dad.
Due to my mother and I clashing though I did live informally with a foster family. Have I told you about how wonderful they are? Will do so one day.
From time to time came emergency foster kids. I remember Hayley. Her stepdad used to bash her, but not her younger sister. Hayley was 13 or 14, I was 11 or 12 the same as her younger sister. So Hayley came to my foster family. She did not know about hygiene ( you have to wet all of your hair to wash it!), she did not know about feminine products or cycles, she did not have a clue about life in general. I remember thinking she had the prettiest face, much prettier than her "nasty" younger sister. One day she was struggling with her very basic maths homework. I was year 7, she was year 9 and I helped (think I did it) her with her homework, she had no idea how to do multiplication. That was the day that it became clear to all of us that she had suffered some kind of brain damage at the hands of her mother and stepfather. How cruel, how utterly disgusting to do that to another human being. What gave them the right.
So to all the Hayley's, Will's, Carly's and kids you are always in my thoughts. I work with adults who began as your story everyday and I pray that you don't end up as they have.
To the rest of us I say educate yourself, speak up and out, reach out to another, but know when to back away and that some people just make bad choices.
If you are looking for other ways to support people affected by domestic violence I could write you a whole blog on that topic alone. However buy the Big Issue it supports the vendor, many of whom are victims at some stage in their life. Or checkout the lovely Lina at http://mothersloveletters.com as she has found a beneficial and aesthetically pleasing, not to mention useful way to help.
If you are in South Australia this may help.
http://www.keepsafestaycool.com.au/Downloads/DV%20The%20Facts%20A5%20V4.pdf
Nationally
http://www.salvationarmy.org.au/services/domestic-violence-services.html
http://au.reachout.com
If you do find yourself in this situation or know of somebody who is, it is never too late to speak out.
Take care and I hope your journey is not a painful one.
XXXXX
Friday, 18 November 2011
ABOUT AMBITION
I am jealous of planned and ambitious people!
The sort who are always together, knows their stuff, are directed, officious and make things look easy.
Jealous because I am in all essence the opposite. I am a drifter, I fall into things rather than plan, I am a procrastinator and I blame that on being a balanced Libran - I see two sides to everything.
I fell into nursing, I fell into year 12, I fell into university, love and marriage. I am not sure that I have ever actively planned and controlled anything in my life. I have never been a planner.
I never planned to get married - I did.
I never planned my pregnancies and they came to me when they should have.
I never planned my career - but I am always landed with opportunities.
In the past year I have been inundated with jobs and job offers. All great, all I am passionate about.
I took one, it was a three month stint. I took it because I felt I had the skills to take it on and make effects within that three month period.
Now 7 months later I am suddenly the level 3 RN in our team.
This is not the first time I have been a level 3 RN, but it has been a long time. Since then I have had children and my priorities in life have changed. I no longer live, eat and breathe work......
I do the work I do because I love it and I am passionate about it, not for any other reason. Prior to being the level 3 I thought I had the best job in the world. It was a combination of all three of my passions - teaching, community and critical or advanced care. My level 3 is amazing in every sense of the word, she has it all, brains beauty and just one of the nicest people I have ever met.
I have big shoes to fill, but only for 7 months. I wouldn't have taken this in a permanent sense. I feel fraudulent for even having the role - how did I end up here? Yes I went through all the normal routes and interviews. Why didn't I stop and say thanks but no thanks? Why is NO such a hard word for me to say?
I love my level 3 and for some strange reason she has faith in me. She also knows I will keep the program true in its path and I have no agendas and she thinks I won't stuff it up in her absence. I really hope I don't.
You would think I have never been here before, but I have. Last year instead of getting the casual lecturing role I sought, I ended up being the lead lecturer and location coordinator. Prior to that I had acting team leader and quality coordinator roles; Clinical Nurse roles at level 2 and level 3 Clinical Nurse Educator roles.
 |
| First group of international students as a Course Coordinator Now the University has several groups running concurrently. |
None of them I asked for, all of them I was asked to do and I did and apparently well.
I know I am a good nurse. I know I am great with the clients I have.
I don't think I am a good leader. I don't do authoritarian and I am a hopeless delegator, I always teeter on trying to be a friend to those I am supposed to lead and in doing so I fail to delegate.
Now it is time for me to "man up", take the lead, take charge. But what if I don't know what I am doing? Say the wrong thing or look stupid?
Once that really would have bothered me and from a personal level. Now I don't actually care what people think of me, but worry that what I do will reflect badly for the rest on my team.
So maybe fate controls me, but it is time for me to take control. I am grateful to receive the challenge, I think...........
This is my unplanned journey and I need to know the destination.
Stay tuned for this one as I fumble and stumble and make the odd bumble.
XXX Fiona
Once that really would have bothered me and from a personal level. Now I don't actually care what people think of me, but worry that what I do will reflect badly for the rest on my team.
So maybe fate controls me, but it is time for me to take control. I am grateful to receive the challenge, I think...........
This is my unplanned journey and I need to know the destination.
Stay tuned for this one as I fumble and stumble and make the odd bumble.
XXX Fiona
Monday, 14 November 2011
Dyson Delights
I love vacuuming.
Don't panic you read correctly I really love vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms. I don't care for the rest of the household chores.
To me there is nothing more rewarding than starting out with a crumb, dog hair, dry play dough covered floor and as you vacuum, you can see you are removing the detritus away.
Every time you vacuum you get to start with a clean slate again.
Last year when times were tough in my life, my computer and work became my life. I would sit on it for hours at night after having finished all of my jobs, working away, I rarely slept more than 3-4 hours.
I used to give myself breaks and wander aimlessly through websites. One night I obviously entered a competition. I never enter competitions.
It was on the AsthmaSA site and there was a Kids Breathe Better link. A competition was running and you just needed to write your story about your child's asthma.
So I did...apparently. I was away camping at our piece of Paradise in October last year when I checked my e-mails and there was an e-mail telling me I had won a DC23 Turbo vacuum from Dyson through the Kids Breathe Better Competition.
I almost deleted it. I thought it was SPAM, a joke, a virus on my MAC.
However it was true. I was one of 500 around the country who won a vacuum.
So it means my writing was maybe not so great with so many winners, but that is besides the point.
I WON.
I needed a vacuum, my estranged husband had my beloved Dyson at his house in the country where it was REALLY needed and I was using my mums spare Dyson upright.
I was so grateful for this wonderful prize and I put it to good work every few days.
This was truly the highlight of my life last year. I told everyone how excited I was to have a new vacuum and be using it.
They all thought I was mad.
That vacuum was a sign of hope to me at that time and I cherish it, (you wouldn't think so if you saw what it lifts from my floors though!).
I was just so lucky.
Try your luck you just never know!
Don't panic you read correctly I really love vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms. I don't care for the rest of the household chores.
To me there is nothing more rewarding than starting out with a crumb, dog hair, dry play dough covered floor and as you vacuum, you can see you are removing the detritus away.
Every time you vacuum you get to start with a clean slate again.
Last year when times were tough in my life, my computer and work became my life. I would sit on it for hours at night after having finished all of my jobs, working away, I rarely slept more than 3-4 hours.
I used to give myself breaks and wander aimlessly through websites. One night I obviously entered a competition. I never enter competitions.
It was on the AsthmaSA site and there was a Kids Breathe Better link. A competition was running and you just needed to write your story about your child's asthma.
So I did...apparently. I was away camping at our piece of Paradise in October last year when I checked my e-mails and there was an e-mail telling me I had won a DC23 Turbo vacuum from Dyson through the Kids Breathe Better Competition.
I almost deleted it. I thought it was SPAM, a joke, a virus on my MAC.
However it was true. I was one of 500 around the country who won a vacuum.
So it means my writing was maybe not so great with so many winners, but that is besides the point.
I WON.
I needed a vacuum, my estranged husband had my beloved Dyson at his house in the country where it was REALLY needed and I was using my mums spare Dyson upright.
I was so grateful for this wonderful prize and I put it to good work every few days.
This was truly the highlight of my life last year. I told everyone how excited I was to have a new vacuum and be using it.
They all thought I was mad.
That vacuum was a sign of hope to me at that time and I cherish it, (you wouldn't think so if you saw what it lifts from my floors though!).
I was just so lucky.
Try your luck you just never know!
Sunday, 13 November 2011
AMAZING
Wow what can I say?
I was done for the day with my blog.
Then I was asked to do something amazing.
My friend is a very talented photographer, unlike me. She and another three businesses are fundraising for a family and their little girl with profound disabilities and a dazzling smile.
http://www.liahealyblog.com/?p=117
I have tagged and shared where I could and will participate in the clothes swap and donate some wine for gifts and auction.
Tonight however I was asked to "PIMP THE CUBBY".
Apparently that is my skill, my forte, only I can girly it up on a budget, which is great in keeping with my most recent post Thrifty not shifty.
To be asked by friends to help them is a privilege and gives you a great feeling.
To be asked by friends to help complete strangers, well that is an honour that words fail to describe.
I hope to do this little girl, her baby sister and mother and father proud.
Girly stuff is easy and I have everything I need to hopefully make this little Cubby a home for these two little cherubs.
It is a 24/7 workload that is unrelenting and unforgiving to parents of disabled children. It does however come with its own joys and triumphs that parents of non-disabled children won't experience in the same way.
http://www.sayso.com.au/weddings/forums/content/
As many of you know I work amongst many disabled clientele and I love my work. To be able to "play" amongst this family with a child with a disability and hopefully create them something delightful well that will be a joy. The last time I did something voluntarily for a family with a disabled child was back when I was studying and a severely disabled 8yo girl, her mum and grandmother were trialling a patterning program and needed volunteers.
While I have just collected a series of things for our cubby house and when I put it together it will look great, I am delighted that I will get to put my creative genius to further use.
I am so grateful to be asked and hope I do them all proud.
xxxx
I was done for the day with my blog.
Then I was asked to do something amazing.
My friend is a very talented photographer, unlike me. She and another three businesses are fundraising for a family and their little girl with profound disabilities and a dazzling smile.
http://www.liahealyblog.com/?p=117
I have tagged and shared where I could and will participate in the clothes swap and donate some wine for gifts and auction.
Tonight however I was asked to "PIMP THE CUBBY".
Apparently that is my skill, my forte, only I can girly it up on a budget, which is great in keeping with my most recent post Thrifty not shifty.
To be asked by friends to help them is a privilege and gives you a great feeling.
To be asked by friends to help complete strangers, well that is an honour that words fail to describe.
I hope to do this little girl, her baby sister and mother and father proud.
Girly stuff is easy and I have everything I need to hopefully make this little Cubby a home for these two little cherubs.
It is a 24/7 workload that is unrelenting and unforgiving to parents of disabled children. It does however come with its own joys and triumphs that parents of non-disabled children won't experience in the same way.
http://www.sayso.com.au/weddings/forums/content/
As many of you know I work amongst many disabled clientele and I love my work. To be able to "play" amongst this family with a child with a disability and hopefully create them something delightful well that will be a joy. The last time I did something voluntarily for a family with a disabled child was back when I was studying and a severely disabled 8yo girl, her mum and grandmother were trialling a patterning program and needed volunteers.
While I have just collected a series of things for our cubby house and when I put it together it will look great, I am delighted that I will get to put my creative genius to further use.
I am so grateful to be asked and hope I do them all proud.
xxxx
Saturday, 5 November 2011
THRIFTY NOT SHIFTY - Green with gratitude
Now I tossed and turned over this blog title. Do I call it green with gratitude, or Retro Vision or Thrifty not shifty?
Since the blog is based on gratitude, that title won, but I really loved Thrifty not shifty! Then I decided to be greedy and blend the two!
I think I am the queen of green.
No, I don't recycle every single container, piece of paper, cardboard or tin. I do use commercial washing powder but 1/3 what they recommend. I use vinegar for softener, cleaning drains, cleaning in general. Borax is bountiful, Eucalyptus oil a godsend and Lemon's essential. I use earth friendly washing up liquid, I prefer candles and essential oils to artificial air fresheners. Ooh and it doesn't cost the earth! In winter I put a pot of water on the wood fire with cloves and cinnamon and vanilla.
Since ever I can remember I have loved "old" things, junk my mum called it. To me it was like treasure hunting. It still is.
The lure of an op shop is often just too great for me to resist, or a second hand store. I mean who knows what hidden treasures lurk in there?
I am not the only one with this little habit.
The great Diva Kamina over at http://opshopdiva.wordpress.com blogs solely about this. I often share the little gems of stores I find with her, so that she too can check it out and share with others.
Kelly Doust has even created a successful writing career and website around upstyling what you can find, check out http://thecraftyminx.com.au. It is classy not trash to be stiff with your cash!
I have a wardrobe full of fabulous finds almost all from op shops. They are clothes I could never buy full price. Such as two cardigans from this season, Country Road and Witchery, both pure wool and two of them for less than $15.00, a whole lot less than they were new. A Ginger Crush bag, Nine west kitten heels, Veronika Maine skirt and pants, Stephen Dattner suede jacket, Jaqueline Eve clothes, Espirit, Susans, Portmans, my wardrobe is bursting at the seams.
My children also have a wardrobe full and I mean full of clothes all brand name and all from the secondhand stores. Some still have new tags on them. There are so many parents out there that see something, love it and buy it, but don't stop to consider if it will actually fit the child when the right season comes around or the child goes through an unpredictable growth spurt - as they do, who would have thought? So I buy my girls secondhand clothes and they are still well dressed and they ruin them at kindy or childcare or in our own backyard and I don't have to sweat it out over the replacement cost or chide them unnecessarily over clothes.
Nor does it mean that they have one good outfit that they are rarely allowed to wear and when a special occasion comes around, no longer fits them. It is also a far cry from the tragic memory I have of hand me downs. My cousins were all older and the clothes were well and truly out of date by the time they came to me. The best I had was Grasshopper, my children have general Target, and others such as Fred Bare, Pumpkin Patch, Milly and Molly, Eeni Meeni Mini Mo, Milkshake, Espirit, Country Road, Gap, Next, Ooobi and Sprout.
It is not just fantastic clothes that lure me, but nostalgic memories. I often seek things that I loved in life at somebody else's home. My style I would say is classic/antique/eclectic, but not offbeat. I recently bought a tin letter, bills, misc. holder that is the same as my nana's, my mother was horrified, but I loved it. Bit pricey though I paid $4! Occasionally I can find a nice Carlton ware piece or some junky old vase that looks great with flowers in it.
Back to my kids. Our toy-room is um.....a little bit like a kindy room. Few of the toys I have bought new, most were secondhand or gifts. Great learning toys, hammering blocks, duplo, marble run, operation game, barbies, prams, irons and books. We love books, I will always let my children buy books and often this is their treat.
My love of green extends to saving toilet rolls for craft and any type of wrapping, it never takes long to collect huge piles and often I take these to childcare and kindy. My kids are often screaming to do craft and a bit of sticky tape, some cheap shop embellishments and home made glue go a long way for an afternoon of entertainment. If supplies are low, you could always find a place such as That's not Garbage. www.thatsnotgarbage.com.au . Such a simple idea for being green with benefits for so many.
This week has been hard rubbish week in our neighbourhood. For once I didn't have much to throw away. However someone still found use in my old clothes horse, junky metal rods, a broken dolls pram and old kids bike and an old round table that will be nice with a coat of white paint - I just never got round to it. I am not sure why the little old cane chair was left though?
Me well I found two perfectly good steel painting ladders, timed nicely for house painting this summer and a little mantle piece, which will be great in the new cubby. Could have picked up four matching dining chairs for our set of six, but I was not quick enough on my walk around the block and well people come equipped with trailers early on the Monday stuff goes out for pick up.
So being green is so easy, it does not mean radical change or going without. In buying what others no longer need or want I am saving myself money and the earth. There is no need for cotton to be unnecessarily irrigated in the Australian desert so that I can have nice clothes, I am buying something that has already been through the manufacture process and there is almost no packaging or bags, as here in South Australia we no longer have plastic bags and need to recycle or use environmentally friendly bags. I never go without, the money I save on clothes I can instead spend on food or decent footwear. I probably should just save it for that renovation that will never take place if I keep going to op shops!
So be grateful for others who have more money than you and throw away perfectly good items. Be thankful for those impulse buyers who we can then cash in on for great finds. Thank god for the Salvos, Vinnies, Goodwill, not to mention the numerous other little gems in our midst.
Try the multiple online sites too:
http://opshopdiva.wordpress.com
www.thatsnotgarbage.com.au
www.gumtree.com.au
http://www.freecycle.org/group/AU/
http://thecraftyminx.com.au
Check them out you too may just be surprised at what you find.
Since the blog is based on gratitude, that title won, but I really loved Thrifty not shifty! Then I decided to be greedy and blend the two!
I think I am the queen of green.
No, I don't recycle every single container, piece of paper, cardboard or tin. I do use commercial washing powder but 1/3 what they recommend. I use vinegar for softener, cleaning drains, cleaning in general. Borax is bountiful, Eucalyptus oil a godsend and Lemon's essential. I use earth friendly washing up liquid, I prefer candles and essential oils to artificial air fresheners. Ooh and it doesn't cost the earth! In winter I put a pot of water on the wood fire with cloves and cinnamon and vanilla.
Since ever I can remember I have loved "old" things, junk my mum called it. To me it was like treasure hunting. It still is.
 |
| My nana's old tins that she rescued from the shed for me, Grandpa was storing nuts and bolts in them! You will also see an old salter scale that is still in balance, jars with various cutters and old mixing bowls |
The lure of an op shop is often just too great for me to resist, or a second hand store. I mean who knows what hidden treasures lurk in there?
I am not the only one with this little habit.
The great Diva Kamina over at http://opshopdiva.wordpress.com blogs solely about this. I often share the little gems of stores I find with her, so that she too can check it out and share with others.
Kelly Doust has even created a successful writing career and website around upstyling what you can find, check out http://thecraftyminx.com.au. It is classy not trash to be stiff with your cash!
I have a wardrobe full of fabulous finds almost all from op shops. They are clothes I could never buy full price. Such as two cardigans from this season, Country Road and Witchery, both pure wool and two of them for less than $15.00, a whole lot less than they were new. A Ginger Crush bag, Nine west kitten heels, Veronika Maine skirt and pants, Stephen Dattner suede jacket, Jaqueline Eve clothes, Espirit, Susans, Portmans, my wardrobe is bursting at the seams.
My children also have a wardrobe full and I mean full of clothes all brand name and all from the secondhand stores. Some still have new tags on them. There are so many parents out there that see something, love it and buy it, but don't stop to consider if it will actually fit the child when the right season comes around or the child goes through an unpredictable growth spurt - as they do, who would have thought? So I buy my girls secondhand clothes and they are still well dressed and they ruin them at kindy or childcare or in our own backyard and I don't have to sweat it out over the replacement cost or chide them unnecessarily over clothes.
Nor does it mean that they have one good outfit that they are rarely allowed to wear and when a special occasion comes around, no longer fits them. It is also a far cry from the tragic memory I have of hand me downs. My cousins were all older and the clothes were well and truly out of date by the time they came to me. The best I had was Grasshopper, my children have general Target, and others such as Fred Bare, Pumpkin Patch, Milly and Molly, Eeni Meeni Mini Mo, Milkshake, Espirit, Country Road, Gap, Next, Ooobi and Sprout.
It is not just fantastic clothes that lure me, but nostalgic memories. I often seek things that I loved in life at somebody else's home. My style I would say is classic/antique/eclectic, but not offbeat. I recently bought a tin letter, bills, misc. holder that is the same as my nana's, my mother was horrified, but I loved it. Bit pricey though I paid $4! Occasionally I can find a nice Carlton ware piece or some junky old vase that looks great with flowers in it.
 |
| My $4 letter holder, RRP as high as $20 in some trendy "retro" stores. |
Back to my kids. Our toy-room is um.....a little bit like a kindy room. Few of the toys I have bought new, most were secondhand or gifts. Great learning toys, hammering blocks, duplo, marble run, operation game, barbies, prams, irons and books. We love books, I will always let my children buy books and often this is their treat.
 |
| From this to...see below |
 |
| The $5 Fisher Price Secondhand dollhouse, complete with climbing baby. |
 |
| Playroom converted old sunroom at the front of our house. Wall of bookshelves was originally timber, carpet was on sale and the redecoration of this room cost less than $300, including lots of white paint to cover the dry old timber! We have lots of creative and educational toys, run of the mill - over marketed toys, lots of books and now two matching secondhand white desks with hutches. There is a wall of white board and blackboard for drawing and writing, peg board for hanging and is their space to do what they like! |
My love of green extends to saving toilet rolls for craft and any type of wrapping, it never takes long to collect huge piles and often I take these to childcare and kindy. My kids are often screaming to do craft and a bit of sticky tape, some cheap shop embellishments and home made glue go a long way for an afternoon of entertainment. If supplies are low, you could always find a place such as That's not Garbage. www.thatsnotgarbage.com.au . Such a simple idea for being green with benefits for so many.
This week has been hard rubbish week in our neighbourhood. For once I didn't have much to throw away. However someone still found use in my old clothes horse, junky metal rods, a broken dolls pram and old kids bike and an old round table that will be nice with a coat of white paint - I just never got round to it. I am not sure why the little old cane chair was left though?
Me well I found two perfectly good steel painting ladders, timed nicely for house painting this summer and a little mantle piece, which will be great in the new cubby. Could have picked up four matching dining chairs for our set of six, but I was not quick enough on my walk around the block and well people come equipped with trailers early on the Monday stuff goes out for pick up.
So be grateful for others who have more money than you and throw away perfectly good items. Be thankful for those impulse buyers who we can then cash in on for great finds. Thank god for the Salvos, Vinnies, Goodwill, not to mention the numerous other little gems in our midst.
Try the multiple online sites too:
http://opshopdiva.wordpress.com
www.thatsnotgarbage.com.au
www.gumtree.com.au
http://www.freecycle.org/group/AU/
http://thecraftyminx.com.au
Check them out you too may just be surprised at what you find.
Sunday, 30 October 2011
Being Authentic
Who are you?
What do you stand for?
Are you authentic?
I began blogging by default. I felt grateful for the good things which existed in my life, which was a bit of an epiphany for me against a year of perceived negatives.
I felt a need to share that gratitude, that no matter what life throws at you, "it 'aint all that bad!"
My journey was one through ante-natal and post-natal depression, my husband finding a suitable replacement 2 weeks after the birth of our second child, taking on a job that was really designed for three people and the realisation that my whole world was out of balance.
I resigned from that job and reduced my hours until a replacement could be found. I worked on being the best person I could knowing that it would pay off in the end. I worked on being a better mother, I worked on doing things for myself - that I have never done before.
I connected with buddhism, meditation, the church, my friends new and old. I discarded time wasters and energy sappers.
I felt empowered I felt good, but I couldn't work out why; my life was still far from settled.
I was being authentic to my own strengths.
What do you stand for?
Are you authentic?
I began blogging by default. I felt grateful for the good things which existed in my life, which was a bit of an epiphany for me against a year of perceived negatives.
I felt a need to share that gratitude, that no matter what life throws at you, "it 'aint all that bad!"
My journey was one through ante-natal and post-natal depression, my husband finding a suitable replacement 2 weeks after the birth of our second child, taking on a job that was really designed for three people and the realisation that my whole world was out of balance.
I resigned from that job and reduced my hours until a replacement could be found. I worked on being the best person I could knowing that it would pay off in the end. I worked on being a better mother, I worked on doing things for myself - that I have never done before.
I connected with buddhism, meditation, the church, my friends new and old. I discarded time wasters and energy sappers.
I felt empowered I felt good, but I couldn't work out why; my life was still far from settled.
I was being authentic to my own strengths.
 |
| How could you not love life with these two? |
Your Top Character Strength
Honesty, authenticity,
and genuineness
You are an honest person, not only by speaking
the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down
to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.
Your Second Character Strength
Perspective (wisdom)
Although
you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They
value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of
looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.
Your Third Character Strength
Curiosity and interest
in the world
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions,
and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and
discovery.
Your Fourth Character Strength
Fairness, equity, and
justice
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do
not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give
everyone a chance.
Your Fifth Character Strength
Judgment, critical
thinking, and open-mindedness
Thinking things through and examining
them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to
conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You
are able to change your mind.
I have to say I totally agree with these strengths. They are me to a tee!
I have decided to blog on authenticity rather than gratitude today after reading a blog which rang alarm bells for me. It is someone I know. I read with interest the blogs and the old links and am dismayed at the actions and thoughts of this person. They always played the game, the good guy, cultured person, ambitious and worldly.
How wrong was I!
What I have discovered is a person who is so lost in the world that they don the skin of a chameleon. They fit to the circumstance and the people they are with. That is sad for them and those they deceive by not being themselves. It is sad for their children and cost a man his marriage and family. This person married because it was part of their plan in life, not for love. It is no more than a form of entrapment. What is sad is that two little people have been affected by this and in a negative way. Their main carer is still lost and this affects children raised in environments where there is disequilibrium.
So how do you know if you are being true to yourself?
Take the test and see.
I undertook this survey as part of a book group I am in. It was a great realisation for me and others in the group.
So go on take the test, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
It's a dog's life
I am glad I am not a dog!
Strange statement that may seem, but how many times do you hear people comment how good it would to be a dog? "Next life I am coming back as a dog, lay around all day, go for walks, get fed and patted". You know the deal.
If only it were that way. Not all dogs have it good. Some are abused and mistreated from conception. See "Oscar's law". If that little fella doesn't break your heart, well you best be off to the doctor to check you still have one!
http://www.oscarslaw.org/
My second labrador came from a pet shop. It was one of those adopt a pet weekends. Really a shameless marketing scam to sell people dogs. I saw this pitiful little female lab in the window and well I just had to do it. We took her home and all weekend I worked on my partner (now husband) to keep her, after all our 2 year old lab needed a friend. I won, but I did have to take her back to the pet shop to complain.
At the vet check she had ear mites, fleas, muscle waste and calcium deficiency, in all likelihood she was going to have joint problems. So I fronted to the pet shop, kindly demanded some ear and flea treatment and calcium and complained about the state of the supposed 8 week old pup. The less than charming response was "We can take her back and refund your money".
As if I was going to hand her over to someone who wouldn't love her as much as me! We called her Meg.
I discovered she came from a "breeder" (I use that term loosely) in Victoria. At around the same time Don Burke from Burke's Backyard was highlighting the "puppy farm" industry, that is where my Meg came from.
Over the years I have told anyone who will listen not to buy from pet shops, but I never knew the extent of the industry until joining Oscars Law. Deb Tranter and her merry band of volunteers I thank you for bringing the cause to the people and highlighting the truly disgusting conditions some of these dogs begin and end their lives in.
We are also all too aware of those poor creatures who find a home and are severely mistreated. They end up dead through neglect or chronic disease, sometimes they can not be rehabilitated to be rehomed and are euthanased. Bait dogs, racing dogs, working dogs, pet dogs.
Thankfully we have people like the volunteers at South Australian Dog Rescue, AWL, RSPCA, Lort Smith Animal Hospital, CARS, CAWS and Flicks Cat Rescue, Help save the furry ones and I know there are more.
Today I took my girls out to the family day at Pet Deli Anzac Highway for the Pawfect match day. This is where SADR bring some of their prized K9s looking for some new place to call home.
I fell in love with a girl called Chicken. I could see from her scars she had been living a rough life before hand, but she was just so beautiful and gentle. I had to resist even though I know Charlie our current lab (No.3) would love her. We hope to renovate soon and I know too many stories of builders leaving gates open.
So Chicken I pray that you find a good home and that you get the love you deserve. To all the dogs and cats in limbo tonight, I am sending you my love and hopes for you to get a new home.
I am so grateful not to be a dog, although it would be pretty good to come back as one of my dogs...........
This is the gratitude train, enjoy your journey and be thankful you can choose where you sleep tonight.
http://www.sadogrescue.com/Dogs-for-Adoption.html
Another wonderful NO KILL SHELTER
http://www.moorookanimalshelter.com.au/
Strange statement that may seem, but how many times do you hear people comment how good it would to be a dog? "Next life I am coming back as a dog, lay around all day, go for walks, get fed and patted". You know the deal.
If only it were that way. Not all dogs have it good. Some are abused and mistreated from conception. See "Oscar's law". If that little fella doesn't break your heart, well you best be off to the doctor to check you still have one!
http://www.oscarslaw.org/
My second labrador came from a pet shop. It was one of those adopt a pet weekends. Really a shameless marketing scam to sell people dogs. I saw this pitiful little female lab in the window and well I just had to do it. We took her home and all weekend I worked on my partner (now husband) to keep her, after all our 2 year old lab needed a friend. I won, but I did have to take her back to the pet shop to complain.
 |
| Meg, 11 years old - she was hit by a car a few weeks later |
At the vet check she had ear mites, fleas, muscle waste and calcium deficiency, in all likelihood she was going to have joint problems. So I fronted to the pet shop, kindly demanded some ear and flea treatment and calcium and complained about the state of the supposed 8 week old pup. The less than charming response was "We can take her back and refund your money".
As if I was going to hand her over to someone who wouldn't love her as much as me! We called her Meg.
I discovered she came from a "breeder" (I use that term loosely) in Victoria. At around the same time Don Burke from Burke's Backyard was highlighting the "puppy farm" industry, that is where my Meg came from.
Over the years I have told anyone who will listen not to buy from pet shops, but I never knew the extent of the industry until joining Oscars Law. Deb Tranter and her merry band of volunteers I thank you for bringing the cause to the people and highlighting the truly disgusting conditions some of these dogs begin and end their lives in.
We are also all too aware of those poor creatures who find a home and are severely mistreated. They end up dead through neglect or chronic disease, sometimes they can not be rehabilitated to be rehomed and are euthanased. Bait dogs, racing dogs, working dogs, pet dogs.
Thankfully we have people like the volunteers at South Australian Dog Rescue, AWL, RSPCA, Lort Smith Animal Hospital, CARS, CAWS and Flicks Cat Rescue, Help save the furry ones and I know there are more.
Today I took my girls out to the family day at Pet Deli Anzac Highway for the Pawfect match day. This is where SADR bring some of their prized K9s looking for some new place to call home.
I fell in love with a girl called Chicken. I could see from her scars she had been living a rough life before hand, but she was just so beautiful and gentle. I had to resist even though I know Charlie our current lab (No.3) would love her. We hope to renovate soon and I know too many stories of builders leaving gates open.
So Chicken I pray that you find a good home and that you get the love you deserve. To all the dogs and cats in limbo tonight, I am sending you my love and hopes for you to get a new home.
I am so grateful not to be a dog, although it would be pretty good to come back as one of my dogs...........
 |
| Charlie was "to give away to a good home" and 3 years old when we got him, he is 9 now. |
This is the gratitude train, enjoy your journey and be thankful you can choose where you sleep tonight.
http://www.sadogrescue.com/Dogs-for-Adoption.html
Another wonderful NO KILL SHELTER
http://www.moorookanimalshelter.com.au/
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