Monday, 19 September 2011

Baggage from the Marriage Carriage...

Marriage...aaaahhh that word used to make me cringe as a woman.

I was probably the only woman I knew who did not wish to grow up, get married and have children. I also was not particularly career ambitious.

How then did I end up married with kids and a career?? Good question.

My own parents marriage was something I wished to avoid. I never saw my parents fight, sure there was the occassional (make that frequent) sarcastic comment from my mother to my father. What was it about my parents marriage that made me cringe and have no belief in marriage?

From as far back as I can remember I knew my parents were incredibly different people. In personality, enjoyment and future dreams. However, I had a great upbringing...mostly.

Why did I have no future faith in a marriage for myself based on my parents. Well I have been married now for nearly 9 years and together for nearly 16. It has been anything but blissful!

My husband and I are very different people, just like my parents. We clash, we are strong willed and i don't back down ever. If I have a belief I will stick to my guns, most of the time.

On the flip side when we work TOGETHER on something, we are dynamite. It has taken us many, many fights, two separations and an extra marital relationship to get us to where we are now. Working together on parenting, on our house, just on anything. That is how it is supposed to be, so why did it take so much to get to this point?

How do we work together?
What works/ what doesn't?

Where oh where is the instruction book to navigate all of this. Well there just isn't one. You do have to figure it out yourself, but there are some tools to help you.

They will be coming soon. I just need time to sort it all out. This is the first thing you will need to learn in this journey - patience, nothing happens quickly, except the unexpected.

Keep on board, keep moving forward, everything passes.

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